Mary Traynor Trella, 74, of Clifton, passed away on June 16, 2024

Visiting Wednesday, June 19, 2024, 2 – 8 PM at the Shook Funeral Home, 639 Van Houten Ave., Clifton. Funeral Thursday, June 20, 2024, 8:45 AM at the funeral home and 10 AM at St. John Kanty RC Church, Clifton. Entombment, East Ridgelawn Cemetery, Clifton.

In lieu of flowers, donations made to Mount St. Dominic Academy, 3 Ryerson Ave, Caldwell, NJ 07006, www.msdacademy.org/giving in memory of Mary would be greatly appreciated.

Mary Traynor Trella was born on September 2, 1949, in Jersey City, NJ. Her family settled in Wayne, NJ, and she graduated from Wayne Valley High School. She attended Duquesne University where she made many long-time friends but most importantly, she met the love of her life, Matthew Trella. On September 12, 1970, they were married, a love story that lasted 53 years.

After transferring and graduating from Montclair State University, she taught speech and theater at Paramus High School. In 1975, Mary and Matt were thrilled to adopt their first child, Katie. Three years later, they traveled to Poland with great joy to adopt Matthew, Junior. In 1982, they were delighted to add their son Christian to their family.

Mary was a mover and a shaker with a bright, generous spirit. She shared this with the world by running multiple successful fundraisers for the North American Wheelchair Athletic Association.  When her daughter Katie attended Mount Saint Dominic Academy, Mary became the director of Admission, Development, and Parent Liaison at the school, increasing the enrollment substantially through her dynamic personality and rapport with the students. She continued in the position for six years.

After falling in love with Cape May, NJ, Mary and Matt built their dream home there, naming it "My Blue Heaven," and enjoying the beachfront life for 26 years. Mary continued her successful fundraising as Director of Development and president of the board of Cape May Stage, opening her beautifully decorated home to visiting actors and hosting many galas there.

In 2015, Mary and Matt returned to northern New Jersey to be close to the apples of their eyes, their granddaughters Allison and Elizabeth. Allison became Mary's partner in coloring, while Mary and Elizabeth shared a love of books. She filled her new home with friends, both new and old, making it the social center of the neighborhood. Mary lived by the motto: "Never forget to entertain strangers, as sometime you have entertained angels unaware."

Mary was the most giving, generous person on God's earth. If she didn't have it, she would borrow it from Matt and give it away. All who knew her loved her and she will be greatly missed. The world will be a darker place without her bright spirit.

Mary is survived by her husband of 53 years, Matt; her daughter, Katie Zinsmeister, and husband, Michael, and their two daughters, Allison and Elizabeth; her son Matthew, Junior; and her son Christian Trella-Pace and his husband, Russel. She was predeceased by her beloved Schnauzers, Fido and Spike, but survived by her faithful canine companions, Scranton and Fordie.

My Mom

(Thoughts from her loving daughter)

If you knew my mom, up until her final days, she was a force of nature: Staunchly doing for others, very opinionated and feisty!  She was strong in both mind and spirit, but her body was always pushing against her.

Mom had a memory that was like a steel trap. She never forgot a name, and it was her way most of the time. Our relationship had its ups and downs, but she was there to always hold me accountable, hold my hand, and be there when it counted. Whether it was teaching me how to collate at an early age, being the hardest 7th grade ELA teacher ever, or being the assistant director of my high school productions and going costume shopping with me, she was there.

As an adult, Mom was there when we came home after Michael proposed. She helped me pick out my perfect wedding dress and helped me plan the best wedding. She and my dad made the long drive to New Hampshire for my bridal shower and the funeral of my father-in-law within two years of each other.

Mom was always there for every step of both my pregnancies, and she was an amazing grandmother. The girls adored her, and even when she couldn't get to every event for them, she would watch it virtually. They would race to show her pictures, sit with her, talk to her, color with her.

About a month before Allie was born, Mom finally chose a unique grandmother name.  She wanted to be different and that it was: Grandy.  The name was from a book called A Woman of Substance. The title alone was my mom in a nutshell. A woman so passionate about the arts she gave us a stage in our basement.  A woman who had so many different jobs (many of them volunteer) that she never really sat still.  A woman who shared so many of her talents in different ways, whether it was shopping for clothes and shoes, coloring with Allison, reading with Elizabeth, playing canasta or Rummy-o with Michael and me, or showing Allison how to cook or bake.

Mom loved passionately, fought valiantly, and loved each of us in her own way. She never gave up, whether it was fighting through broken bones, surgeries, or physical setbacks. Her fortitude, generosity, and tenacity made all of her children who they are today.

Mom always taught me:

1.      Your spouse is your best friend.

2.      Never go to bed mad.

3.      Collate is an important word.

4.      Do things for others.

5.      Crying is okay.

6.      Freezing sandwiches is not a good idea.

7.      Feed people and they will come.

8.      Everything is better with ice cream, coffee, or fresh-squeezed orange juice.

9.      Sleep is important.

10.    Take chances and take risks!

Rest in peace, Mom.